Sometimes I feel not in the present.

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Keeping secrets is shit.  Secrets that aren’t even yours.  Things are not as they seem. It’s a daily struggle.  Just to get out the door.  I love my kids and my hubby but not my head.  She’s a Bitch.  Sometimes I feel like I dreamed this shit. And then I go hmmm why would my mind make this shit up. That’s pretty sick if your mind made this shit up.  I’ve blocked so much of my childhood out of my mind I’m finding it hard to find fun cool memories of doing stuff. All I can concentrate on is the bad stuff. The naughty stuff.  People don’t know what I was doing at 6. It’s sick. What the fuck.  Why do this shit. Blahhhh. This is good to Get it out.  I don’t care if it’s cyberspace. That’s where Everything’s happening these days.  Well will try get out the door today with no anxiety. My guts are in a state of affairs. 

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