Normal.  What is normal.  Well I know I don’t normally feel like this so this is not normal.  It sux.  I Totaly get suicide now.  It’s not about being dead ( not for everyone) it’s about stopping the thoughts the pain and sorrow.  The suffering that hurts like a wrecking ball hitting you sideways. Normally I’m a mum. Im a wife sister daughter granddaughter friend and student.  But at the moment I feel like I’m none of those things and nobody has any clue.  It’s very lonely.  That’s another thing.  I want to scream out loud how I’m feeling but really who will listen.  My writing is not concise. I’m no professional I’m just writing how I feel. And I feel like being at peace. Peace in my heart and peace in my mind.  I won’t kill myself because I am a mum and a wife and a sister daughter granddaughter and friend.  I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody but I don’t want to hurt anymore.   

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