What Abuse Survivors Don’t Know: Ten Life-Changing Truths to Embrace on the Healing Journey


Not in a great place to read this right now but I would like to share in case others need to.

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

I'm somewhere between feeling like a victim or a survivor.   The hope vs despair part is a daily struggle.

The journey to healing from emotional and/or physical abuse requires us to revolutionize our thinking about relationships, self-love, self-respect and self-compassion. Abusive relationships often serve as the catalyst for incredible change and have the potential to motivate us towards empowerment and strength, should we take advantage of our new agency.

Here are ten life-changing truths abuse survivors must embrace along this journey, though it may appear challenging to do so.

1. It was not your fault. Victim-blaming is rampant both in society and even within the mental landscapes of abuse survivors themselves. Recently, the victim-blaming and the mythical “ease” of leaving an abusive relationship has been challenged in the public discourse. Accepting  that the pathology of another person and the abuse he or she inflicted upon you is not under your control can be quite challenging when you’ve been told otherwise,  by the abuser, the public and even by those close…

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6 responses »

  1. And here’s the thing, luverley, you are not just a survivor. A survivor could be anybody who did not die during the unfair fight. You are a warrior. You are figuring put how to overcome this stuff. You may not feel like it right now, but you really are a warrior. You are going to therapy. You are walking the path. You are supporting other people on the path. You are writing about your journey. You are a warrior.


    • I couldn’t even bear to read her article yet. I’m up at 2 am in the morning cos we just not tired. I hate it when people tell me it’s not my fault or wasn’t my fault it triggers me but I know I will read it at a later date. Fuck I hate this bloody journey at the moment they’re killing my head.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I get it. This journey is not for the faint-hearted. It’s lots of being up in the middle of night and trying to figure out how to squash the triggers and old voices and replace them with new. Right now, I am filled with gratitude for my good days, because I’m sure there will be more bad days and nights. I’m also grateful for my good days because I can tell you about them, and hopefully give you some hope for your journey.


      • Thank you. Yeah I have good days when I’m the nice ones. I just hate the suicidal programming. Switching headaches and fuckn Amnesia at the moment. Hugs


  2. I prefer to label myself a target of a narc rather than a victim of a narc. I know I allowed it to happen in the beginning but I didn’t in the end (16 years). That is when it all fell apart. He could no longer “con” me and I do believe they can “con” anybody other then the people who have already been through it. But I have heard stories people keep meeting these types and falling for it again and again………….though to be conned time and time again by other narcs is hard for even me to understand but it does happen.


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