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Parts aren’t feeling well am feeling trauma.  It sux eh. You don’t have the memory of it but the feeling or you have the above view of it.  I was terrified of the time my brother the creek.  Oh fuck it Makes me feel disgusting.  Ugh like a dirty fuckn secret with fuckn dirt in my hair. Ugh. Fuck i shouldn’t be Swearing I’m only lil.  It’s when i started Swearing and lashing out at my siblings mum taught me it was wrong si i used to hide.  It’s when I was 6 i was so sexualised and i Dont even know how.  Like was i really always just a whore.  For fuck sake.  Is it that hard? Is it that irrational? ,?? 
I did a pros and cons list about going but had to do a who would who wouldn’t.  Would won actually but ahh the more dominant personalities are in a group together.  ???  How many was 9 against 6 but there are more frags but they do but don’t count. 
Owwww and just added extra I’m getting pains down there not knowing if it is memory Related or not. I hate the thought it being tickled i can’t stand being touched ugh horrible. Drink and drugs have to be involved and then abusive memories come in i can’t fuckn change them for some reason so I’m stuck in fear so i just put myself there again. No wonder i want to vomit and ……… um. its been a year now since i looked for a t and i waited for her and also since i started taking the boys to daycare and since i wanted to kill myself all the time n since all the parts come out to t n since just it feels that my life switched. But i remember them from ages ago sometimes. Depending on who’s in

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