Alone

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It sux having nobody to talk to and process shit and even more so that i have heaps of people telling me i need to change ts and have told me for months now that she musnt be helping me and i have thought for ages that she doesn’t know how. Reading today though somebody’s comment about her not caring really hurt because it seems to be true.  I mean all the ts i been too are the same they want me to talk and i don’t find that easy at all.  They all seem to have had that same approach i don’t think that’s the whole problem.  But some people in the blog and Facebook world have such nice ts. They check in on them and ring when they suicidal.  They reply at least. They seem to teach them about DID.  They care.  They seem to care. Mine has told me before the littles should just go to their room if my husband wants sex.  I thought no meant no.  Anyway it was hurtful to see people say that she always misses the boat and they think she just doesn’t care and that this has been going on for months and i should change. The other mh people want me to change to their t but I’m scared and is taken me a year to get used to her.  And they might just ignore my parts and it’ll be 18 months before i face trauma stuff with someone i can trust.  Ugh such a fucked situation. So hard when you’ve never trusted anybody like that before but you know in your heart that she doesn’t care is just a job. 

I trust her and definitely she can help me. Maybe not you Hahahaha you always want to know everything and you don’t even say anything so how do you know she knows anything about you. How can she help you if she knows nothing about you. Idiot of course nobody cares not even most of us care anymore. It does actually cause more stress going to a t. Maybe i should just stop going. It’s alot of stress for us for 1 hr.

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2 responses »

  1. I can’t believe she said that to you about the littlest going to their rooms… No DOES mean no! I hope that she meant something different and it just came out wrong. You’ve got to follow your heart. You deserve the best help out there, and only you know if she’s not what you need. The fear of trusting someone else can hold you back, but try not to let it if you can. The right T will genuinely understand and care about you and will do their best to help you get well. Sending lots of hugs, friend. xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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