Pen n paper

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My biggest fear this last few weeks is putting pen to paper.  What comes out and what happens can be quite scary.  And then it means is real.  That what they write is real.  Jesus my head hurts.  Hurts so much.  I hope that stops as there won’t be anything to fight over.  So I’m real scared to write because of the huge difference in handwriting and things they say like oh I’m just scared.  I don’t want to know and have on paper what they know.  I just want to stay high or drunk all the time to get through this.  I switch enough without having them writing.  I don’t like it when they take control.  I Don’t and i notice more now.  I Don’t like it.  It’s so tiring and the headaches.  Apparently it’s them pushing too hard to front.  So that’s why it hurts more.  I think conciousness is coming between more parts.  Remembering things together.  It’s so weird.  The skull hurts and i just wanna shake it like a fukn baby sometimes.  Get all the bad shit out

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One response »

  1. Hi. When I was younger I was afraid to write, but when I was ten I began to write my first song and it felt different and good. Every single day, my writing has gotten better because I never stay away from pens and paper. You should try it. It might help. Writing has helped me in my passed years and it still do.

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