I’m scared i got nobody to talk to.  T doesn’t answer me anymore.  She must think I’m lying.  People hate liars.  I know they do.  But im not lying. I had another bad memory last night.  To do with 4. I’m sure it was 4. I had one of my arms above my head in bed nearly asleep when the husband grabbed my wrist.  Just to hold it but flash in my head of big man putting it up there with my wrists being held above my head.  I scared i was really scared but realised i was here. I still scared I’m actually a very scared person and is not normal.  In my real life where the people who know the host they would say she’s strong she’s tough she don’t put up with shit.  She is kind and caring.  She helps others.  She cares for others but won’t take no shit. They have no idea how many people have hurt me for her to be like that.  And really she isn’t strong she isn’t tough she don’t stand up… that’s Bi*ch. She isn’t nice she isn’t caring.  That’s me.  She doesn’t help others that’s broken jeez she doesn’t do anything about this shit. It’s making me very upset.  I try get to help and nobody listens.  Nobody effing listens.  What does it take for some one to realise she is not well. Do i have to hurt myself or someone else in this body.  I already being hurt.  See nobody in our real life would believe this is us. This is her we are her.  She is us.  Nobody gets it nobody wants to help me. No matter how hard I try.
Only online friends know im here.  I might as well stop bothering or just get in with what she wants and that’s nobody to be here. 
Brooke 7
And before i forget to that i know where the shh shh shh comes from cos of the screaming

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