Monthly Archives: September 2015



Torrettes trigger warning. 

No joke but my family never liked the Swearing.  None of them swear.  Where did all that hate and anger come from. The lashing out the Swearing the fuckn hate everyone biz.  Shit Fuckkkkk i hate my life.  I can say now that i really do.  I ffs motherfuckn hate dissociating.  It’s a Bitch 



Oh my god I’m crazee.  Right now i don’t know what i got up to most of today.  And it was odd i got there and the odo 235333 Haha 333 i was like oh my god that’s a fuckn sign.  I was going to tell her the plan has to be solid and consist of 3 things.  I have many plans and we all have different reasons for wanting to suicide.  I know she gets blocked but i can’t help it. I decided that if i go just cos whoever wants to attend will turn up.  I’m having chest pains.  Anxiety.  Panic.  Memories.  Couldn’t talk about  stuff cos of too much switching.  Was suppose to tell her facts.  I better go write them down before i forget. 

Shit sux


I bet she thinks i don’t feel this bad.  That I’m doing it for attention.  She probably thinks I’m doing it for attention.  It’s so not fair. Spose if we die we die nobody cares.  I just tell her how i feel or whoever feels how they feel at the time.  It’s like i don’t know how i should feel.  I just have these things that just torture me and others who come out constantly and it’s not fair.  I do think about suicide alot alot.  We all have our own reasons.  But oh yeah just before i was putting the kids down and i was like oh why would she say I’m at risk im not suicidal im not even depressed but now I’m like ohhhh that was somebody else. Cos I’m like trying to make the best plans.