anniversarys hurt

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today’s my wedding anniversary but 3  maybe 4 years ago i left for a break.  it’s documented in old blogs i believe.  i went for a break because i was dissociative and my husband was treating me like my handlers did.  so why do i feel so sad today.  this sux.  he said last year he wanted to get back together but then he only used me for his needs again.  it was not a holy marriage or ordained by God so maybe that’s why I’m still not with him.  I’m barely hanging onto a thread right now and it’s been a rough week.  i wanted to end my life.  i can’t deal with all this I’m going through it feels like. People message me im strong and a warrior but i don’t feel it.  it’s so lonely having no friends other than online.  soon God is gonna change that and everyone is gonna want to be my friend so i will have to watch for the wolves.

i messaged him have a good day.  i don’t know what else to say.  he broke my heart so why am i so sad.

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